There is both true greatness and true heartbreak around every turn. It is hard to look at who you are and understand the traits you possess that should be valued above all else is usually what provides the most heartbreak.
I fight for what I believe in...I fight for the ones who are thrown aside...I battle those who know better but disregard their knowledge for position, money, title, or convenience. My heart is broken over what the true reality is facing me each day I work in special education. I know what is right and I am unafraid to speak my mind and yet I am destroyed little by little every time I suit up. This is not just a job to me...this is my life's calling--what I was put here to do...what all of my ugly memories of abuse and hatred prepared me for. With this being said, I am killing myself and not getting anywhere. My fight is unproductive and is brutalizing my will.
I do not know what is around the corner but to be constantly braced for the worse is agonizing. My spirit is broken; I am hurting beyond thought and I can no longer endure the pain of this career.
I do not know how to just be quiet and allow people in power to fuck my students into oblivion. I cannot watch another adult treat kids with special needs with such disdain. I do this job because no one else wants to--I bleed for my children because parents have already been bled dry and the teachers before me have already thrown in the towel. If I wanted to be mediocre, I could have picked any damn job. I do not do this for money, for fame, for title, or prestige...I do this job because it runs deep within my soul; every fiber is theirs; every nerve on fire because of their wounds.
Wow, I have learned so many ugly truths about education; about the legalities that people so easily disregard--I do not know if I can continue to stomach this ugly world I find myself in each day and honestly, I am not sure who could. I do not give up easily but I have not the strength nor the power to work this system so I may survive and help my kids at the same time. There is a quote from one of my favorite movies about "he was the rock they broke themselves on"...I am not sure anymore if I am the rock or the one broken on the rock of insincerity?
Friday, February 18, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Words...don't let them...
"Words; don't let them shake you; don't let them break you or stop your world from turning..."
Ok, so it seems time to educate some mother fuckers. People, you need to stop before you say something that will train wreck another. It is not a request but a fucking demand!! I am so tired of people saying the most hurtful things without ever thinking if their words are having an impact they may not have intended. Do you know what it does to a person's soul to have vicious words thrown at them like they are nothing--at a speed that no one would ever be able to dodge?
Words lie in wait...they are opportunity whores. They wait to strike; they know when they will have the most damage and will hit us with a force that knocks us into oblivion. They will cut us deeper than any fist is able to yet people just cannot help themselves. The power of words is undeniable. Do you wish your words to become vehicles of love or do you wish to have your comments replayed over and over so that the recipient can abuse themselves endlessly with their power?
Close your eyes and remember every last word that was provided to you by another that you have never been able to rid yourself from and THINK!!! Words last a lifetime; the uglier the sentiment, the longer lasting it's power. Words such as "I Do" or "I will love you always" have the ability to alter our path for a lifetime but please do not forget words such as "I hate you", or "You are a disappointment" will reside in the forefront ready to expose themselves as soon as we are weak to hurt us all over again.
Words influence our decisions, our opinions, and our path. Wouldn't it be beautiful to have your positive words help someone achieve their dreams instead of crushing them? Wouldn't it be amazing if by saying a kind word, demonstrating love with a word that you provide another the courage to take this world by storm?
Gentle and loving....respectful and kind...amazing and beautiful. Give your words the right kind of power and stop thinking being honest equates to being mean. Do not be careless, do not drop your words like bombs ready to explode the path another is on--show respect, empathy, and admiration...let it flow freely and see what comes to you in return. Maybe...just maybe some of the hurtful words that remain with you will be forever erased; replaced with a beautiful sentiment. What do you have to lose?
Ok, so it seems time to educate some mother fuckers. People, you need to stop before you say something that will train wreck another. It is not a request but a fucking demand!! I am so tired of people saying the most hurtful things without ever thinking if their words are having an impact they may not have intended. Do you know what it does to a person's soul to have vicious words thrown at them like they are nothing--at a speed that no one would ever be able to dodge?
Words lie in wait...they are opportunity whores. They wait to strike; they know when they will have the most damage and will hit us with a force that knocks us into oblivion. They will cut us deeper than any fist is able to yet people just cannot help themselves. The power of words is undeniable. Do you wish your words to become vehicles of love or do you wish to have your comments replayed over and over so that the recipient can abuse themselves endlessly with their power?
Close your eyes and remember every last word that was provided to you by another that you have never been able to rid yourself from and THINK!!! Words last a lifetime; the uglier the sentiment, the longer lasting it's power. Words such as "I Do" or "I will love you always" have the ability to alter our path for a lifetime but please do not forget words such as "I hate you", or "You are a disappointment" will reside in the forefront ready to expose themselves as soon as we are weak to hurt us all over again.
Words influence our decisions, our opinions, and our path. Wouldn't it be beautiful to have your positive words help someone achieve their dreams instead of crushing them? Wouldn't it be amazing if by saying a kind word, demonstrating love with a word that you provide another the courage to take this world by storm?
Gentle and loving....respectful and kind...amazing and beautiful. Give your words the right kind of power and stop thinking being honest equates to being mean. Do not be careless, do not drop your words like bombs ready to explode the path another is on--show respect, empathy, and admiration...let it flow freely and see what comes to you in return. Maybe...just maybe some of the hurtful words that remain with you will be forever erased; replaced with a beautiful sentiment. What do you have to lose?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)