When exploring my cultural diversity it seems the natural progression would be to start from the beginning; my childhood’s cultural environment. Questioning what your cultural norms were growing up, understanding what influences they had on the person you are in the present, should serve as a guide in gaining perspectives otherwise lost or clouded in assumptions. With this being said, evaluating how my family culture helped craft the person I am or how these “norms” influenced my adult-life has been an ongoing process. If this analysis is to provide insight on what I have become culturally, than building the necessary background for the reader is required.
The house of cards I grew up in was built on pretense, abuse, and hate. Similar to a dog fighting pit, my parents created brutal competitions for me and my siblings to participate in so we may prove ourselves worthy of their affection. I do not remember one holiday without it being corrupted by my mother’s mental illness or my father’s indifference. I do, however, remember my oath to pave a very different path when I was grown. As a child, I gravitated towards families very different than mine and drafted a vision of what family culture should look like. I began distancing myself from my family norms in high school and refused to embrace any of the traditions my parents held sacred.
Abuse was my cultural environment as an adolescent. Hatred towards my family traditions was the backbone of every family event. The lessons of survival were more prevalent and more valuable than honoring the facade created by my family’s need to remain in high stature. Relationships were built on lies and deceit. Being abused by a sibling, being demonized by my mother, being blamed for the carnage by my father help create the person I have become and the norms I feel are worth honoring. The single item from my childhood culture that I fully embrace is being crafty enough to survive any obstacle.
Never wanting to embrace tradition, I have lived far removed from any typical standard. I do not have a pre-determined guideline for every holiday so as it develops is how it is experienced. I do not make the foods that I grew up experiencing because none are attached with the nostalgic romanticism most people are driven by.
I have crafted my own cultural norms as an adult and they are under constant supervision and evaluation in order to remain faithful to the oath I made in my youth. I believe strongly in loyalty and support. I refuse to have people in my life that do not support the person I am and love me in spite of my flaws. I celebrate Christmas but it is completely unrecognizable from the ones I survived as a child. Holidays do not hold magical notions within my home. I enjoy celebrating holidays that bring people together without much effort, such as Memorial Day and the Fourth of July. Each year is different, there are no prescribed foods that must on the menu, and if one year I decide to forgo celebrating a particular holiday there is no crushing disappointment felt.
Since being late to any event makes my entire person stressed, I have made it a point to arrive to any function with time to spare. I am extremely organized and am constantly making To-Do lists. I am driven to accomplish each task on my list and to perform each flawlessly. I do not make excuses for the things I have not excelled at and will take ownership willingly of the parts of my life that others find abrasive.
I am detached from material possessions since that attachment might be used as leverage in the future to harm or break me. I am hard-working and have a strong work ethic. I think that if you work hard, taking vacations should be part of the reward. Although financially unable to experience many vacations, I do strive to change this in the future. It is not a person’s status or occupation that I hold in high regard, rather it is their character and moral conduct that is valued above all else. I believe that respect must be earned regardless of your position, age, or title.
Religion is not an important theme within my culture. Living an alternative lifestyle for many years solidified the distance I felt for organized religion on any level. I do not believe that gender plays a significant role in determining how household chores are assigned; if there is work to be done everyone within that residence needs to take ownership. I am willing to work within my community and believe in social ethics. I do not subscribe to any societal norms and will not allow the rules of society to govern how I need to be. For almost four years, I found myself homeless according to the legal definition. I understand the damage living in poverty entails and what lengths a person might be driven to take in order to feed their families. There is no judgment within my heart and I refuse to make assumptions about any other individual because opinion without knowledge is simply ignorant.
I enjoy a quiet home full of warmth. I do not treasure the building in which I reside but do value the serenity that the living entities bring to my life. I have a strong moral compass and that is what drives my cultural norms. I believe in honoring people, their differences, their similarities and their right to be whoever they wish to be. I work hard to bring to light others’ prejudices and demonstrate how to mean the words, “I don’t judge” by example.
For my entire life I have had people make some wild assumptions about who I am as a person. They have been completely uneducated on the subject but yet felt confident that they had me pegged correctly. I have suffered many blows by people’s judgments and have first-hand knowledge on how destructive assumptions can be. Each person is entitled to their opinions however until they actually educate themselves in the areas they feel so passionately about, they should remain diligent in their pursuit of recognizing their own biases and remain silent.

All on your own

Time to listen! Time to open your minds just a bit, listen to my words and know to whom I speak.

My entire life--for my entire existence, I have racked up a large list of haters. People that crucify me because of some bullshit that they cannot really understand or define. Please allow me to help you make some connections, to provide some definition of why I elicit strong emotions from people who are not worthy of my respect, my love, my compassion. Sit up straight, open your minds, and know within your heart that I am really not the problem...I just help shine the light on your own inadequacies.

Every single thing I do in my life is done with an intensity that most find discomforting. I do not hide my emotions, my discontent, my passion and I never, ever apologize for the person I am...if this bothers you, line the fuck up. I do the work it takes to succeed in every endeavor I associate myself with. I do not make excuses for my screw-ups; I own my mistakes, apologize for my transgressions, and attempt to become a better human being with every breath. I do not care if you cannot accept your shortcomings--it is a disgrace that I become the target simply because you choose to be ignorant about the tortured person you have allowed yourself to be. I do not ask for acceptance; I do not care to be tolerated; and I can not be bothered with attempts in fitting in your closed-off world.

If my expectations are higher than you are willing to achieve, that is not my problem. If I set the standard higher than you are able to obtain, again, not my problem. Don't like who you are, please let me reiterate, not my problem.

I work damn hard--when there is a task before me, I will do the work in order to perform exceptionally. I do not rely on others to do the work for me. My passion is off-putting to most--add that to the list of crosses I bare. But please ask yourself why my performance bothers you so. Ask why my hard work and knowledge is a source of discomfort for you. Since you may be unwilling to figure this out for yourself, please allow me assist you.

It bothers you...or should I say, I bother you because I am a reminder that what you want and what you are willing to do in order to achieve it does not equate. When you compare your substance as a person to my dedication to living my life my way, you become disheartened. However, let's not get this twisted...you are not angry at me--you are disappointed in your lack of substance, your lack of passion, your lack of motivation, you lack of commitment to becoming the person you so desire to be.

Stop looking for someone to blame for your unfulfilled life...stop pointing to another in order to deflect the truth concerning your unwillingness to fight for a life that makes you radiate warm. Begin looking in the mirror...sit there awhile and see yourself as you truly are--admit what faults you have--begin to mend what is broken within your own soul and maybe you will not only let go of your resentment of me but you may just learn how to accept the person you are without judgment. There is no need to compete with another to prove how awesome you want others to think you are...when you truly dig who you are down to the bone, it can be witnessed from the highest mountaintops. There is an undeniable beauty that radiates from those who love the person they carry with them each and every moment...can you have this---absolutely, but you must do the work in order to get there. And you must do the work all on your own.