All on your own

Time to listen! Time to open your minds just a bit, listen to my words and know to whom I speak.

My entire life--for my entire existence, I have racked up a large list of haters. People that crucify me because of some bullshit that they cannot really understand or define. Please allow me to help you make some connections, to provide some definition of why I elicit strong emotions from people who are not worthy of my respect, my love, my compassion. Sit up straight, open your minds, and know within your heart that I am really not the problem...I just help shine the light on your own inadequacies.

Every single thing I do in my life is done with an intensity that most find discomforting. I do not hide my emotions, my discontent, my passion and I never, ever apologize for the person I am...if this bothers you, line the fuck up. I do the work it takes to succeed in every endeavor I associate myself with. I do not make excuses for my screw-ups; I own my mistakes, apologize for my transgressions, and attempt to become a better human being with every breath. I do not care if you cannot accept your shortcomings--it is a disgrace that I become the target simply because you choose to be ignorant about the tortured person you have allowed yourself to be. I do not ask for acceptance; I do not care to be tolerated; and I can not be bothered with attempts in fitting in your closed-off world.

If my expectations are higher than you are willing to achieve, that is not my problem. If I set the standard higher than you are able to obtain, again, not my problem. Don't like who you are, please let me reiterate, not my problem.

I work damn hard--when there is a task before me, I will do the work in order to perform exceptionally. I do not rely on others to do the work for me. My passion is off-putting to most--add that to the list of crosses I bare. But please ask yourself why my performance bothers you so. Ask why my hard work and knowledge is a source of discomfort for you. Since you may be unwilling to figure this out for yourself, please allow me assist you.

It bothers you...or should I say, I bother you because I am a reminder that what you want and what you are willing to do in order to achieve it does not equate. When you compare your substance as a person to my dedication to living my life my way, you become disheartened. However, let's not get this twisted...you are not angry at me--you are disappointed in your lack of substance, your lack of passion, your lack of motivation, you lack of commitment to becoming the person you so desire to be.

Stop looking for someone to blame for your unfulfilled life...stop pointing to another in order to deflect the truth concerning your unwillingness to fight for a life that makes you radiate warm. Begin looking in the mirror...sit there awhile and see yourself as you truly are--admit what faults you have--begin to mend what is broken within your own soul and maybe you will not only let go of your resentment of me but you may just learn how to accept the person you are without judgment. There is no need to compete with another to prove how awesome you want others to think you are...when you truly dig who you are down to the bone, it can be witnessed from the highest mountaintops. There is an undeniable beauty that radiates from those who love the person they carry with them each and every moment...can you have this---absolutely, but you must do the work in order to get there. And you must do the work all on your own.