Ugly

Maybe I should not be writing this since my perspective right now is a bit evil but its my therapy so read, don't read...really not sure I care.

When you have had a week that you never saw coming and are not prepared for; when your defenses are down and you open yourself up to people, to love, to possibilities and then get demolished I think no one in the right mind would not be so fucking angry that they could be driven to kill someone.

I try to live my life honestly...it may not be the right choice for many but I pull no punches. I tell each person what my expectations are...as we all know, I have no issues speaking my mind. So, here is my question...is it that people just assume I am like every other fucking idiot who says they speak their mind but nothing but lies spew from their lips??

Let me make this perfectly clear...what I say is exactly what I mean. If I tell you what I want, that is exactly what I want. If I ask you to be gentle, then tread lightly. Jesus, I have enough shit on my plate to fill me up for years...I am not asking you to save me, to help me, to fix a mother fucking thing. I only ask you be honest....with yourself, with me....that's it. Quite simple really.

You will not destroy what I am trying to accomplish, you will never destroy the person I am working so hard to become...fucking come at me and you will feel the wrath of a very tired, exhausted woman trying to secure her place in this world.

You want to get ugly....bring it on. I am close enough to the edge it would not take much effort to jump right into ugly.