In a name

My mother, in her infinate wisdom, spelled my name with only one "S" in order to prevent anyone from shortening my name to Jess or Jessie. This has worked well actually because not only does no one in my life use the before-mentioned names, I am not even called by my full name, Jesica.

As far back as I can remember, I have always had some nickname that others would use to get my attention. My mother was actually the first to provide a nickname, which was Jinx. When growing up, I hated this name. I felt it was a dig, like she thought I jinxed her life and I am almost positive that is exactly how she felt. She one time asked me why my friends do not use this term of endearment and I know I just gave her a look and thought no fucking way am I telling them this.

It makes me giggle thinking of some of the nicknames I have inspired people to call me. It jazzes me that the people in my life that love me are moved to give me a special name. Almost all of my nicknames are used by just one person, special only to them and our friendship. How fucking rocking is this?

At one point in my life, I would have given over everything I hold dear betting I would not have one mother fucker remember me if I were no longer on this Earth. I honestly never realized the impact I had on my loved ones and never appreciated my worth~ however that measured up. With growth, with hard work, I have begun to realize that I am shown love always~~each and every day. When a friend calls me by their made-up name, I am given a gift. Every single time someone is inspired to create a nickname for me, I know that I have made a positive impact in their lives; I moved them--made an impression.

So, what is in a name? For me, it is the love, admiration, and respect of a person that loves me, gets the insanity, and feels their life is richer because I have visited their world. Keep creating names for me and I promise to continue to inspire you to call me by whatever name you feel appropriate.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart...the heart of a Freak, of a Criminal, of a Whirlwind, of a Force of Nature, of a Vampire...thank you for each and every name I have earned, one way or another, thank you.