K*W*L

During my classes, I have learned how to use graphic organizers. One that I like is the K*W*L—It stands for What do you know…What do you want to learn…What have you learned? I think you can apply this to many situations…like friendships.

By no means am I a stupid woman however it seems to me that I continue down paths that have burned me in the past yet I continue to move right towards the same fucking situation…obviously not learning from my mistakes, not making the necessary adjustments in order to avoid the same disappointing bullshit. Damn special that is…now do I need to evaluate why it is I keep putting myself out there or should I evaluate why people wish to hurt others rather than heal them?

What I know...

For the most part, people suck. They cannot be a friend to themselves much less to another person. Women, especially, suck at being friends. Our brains and hearts are hindered by the emotional wrecks we have become...mainly as a result of other women. Instead of hanging tough, being strong for one another we set out with good intentions only to allow our small little brains to overthink, underestimate, and throw away people that might be good for us. Let's continue this trend...let's not think about how we are alone or lonily because of our stupid selfish assess...no, that would then mean we might have to do something to correct our flaws.

Women are competitors however when they have met their match or if they come up against an opponent that may just kick their stupid behinds, they have a meltdown and will try to beat everyone to the punch and destroy a perfectly good relationship out of fear and mistrust. Maybe we all need to look deep within our spirits and find out why we do not trust others...could it be that you, yourself, cannot be trusted and if you had to chose to be your own friend you would run as fast as you can in the opposite direction??

What I need to learn?

I must stay strong in my resolve that there is not a damn thing wrong with me and that people who screw me over are the ones flawed. I need to learn that becoming jaded is not the answer. That being mistrustful, bitter, and angry only makes me feel like crap. So, instead of becoming something I despise, I will be more cautious. I will pay attention to my inner voice telling me not to trust a mother fucker that deserves to be left on the sidelines. I cannot save people, I cannot ask from them more than they are capable of giving and if it is not up to my standards, then I can walk away...swiftly and not look back.

What I have learned...

I've learned that it takes action in order to have your life mean something. Sitting on the sidelines has never been a route I admire or embrace and I refuse to begin that shit now. I bring an intensity to every action, every embrace, every single emotion and I'm good with this behavior continuing.

People will attempt to change me, they will attempt to bring me down a notch or two and I say to them...Let me know how this works out for you...tell me when you have reached success. If you don't enjoy who I am with no needed or necessary adjustments, then leave me be...walk away silently, without causing harm.

I've learned that I adore who I am...I laugh and enjoy the crazy and have had a life most would dream of. Yup, full of turmoil, absolutely but it has also been filled with amazing memories that blow me out of the water when I remember. I will jump off buildings, I will swim with aligators, I will drive my Harley way too fast and go down in flames...all in the pursuit of living my life as I chose. And that's it...my life...my choices...no need for critiques or comments from people way too afraid to live a life they love. Leave your comments at the door, allow love to fill your heart, and become a friend to yourself. With honesty, integrity, and an unwaivering passion...you will then begin to understand just how amazing friendships can be.