I slept on it and decided to stop the craziness and tell him goodbye. I sent him an email apologizing, that I love him, and that I am letting him go. Of course, that did not last. I have been truly insane with this one and I need to stop.
He has not called, no emails sent and as much as I would like to blame myself for screwing things up, I refuse to take all of the blame. What was told to me about his situation was not exactly how it really is. He is married and I think no where near ready to leave his wife. I do believe I was his mid-life crisis and when things get too real for him, he shuts down. I knew all of this before going into the situation and yet I still ran right to him. Into harms way and that is really the thing I need to figure out, not what's up with him but why I keep putting myself into unhealthy situations fully knowing that I am going to get hurt or worse.
I need to begin growing up, to love myself more, to value myself more than another.
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